Brother, can you spare a bed?

It  is Sunday morning at 9am, the day after a very grueling yard sale. All I want to do is sleep. Hell, all I EVER want to do is sleep, but today my body is screaming in muscle pain.  Ok, well some of it is emotional pain too. The yard sale made me realize that it is time to get rid off all my belongings. My bike, which I never used, sound equipment, which I never used, my books, that I never used I mean read. The fact is, it really isn't a big deal to get rid of all your stuff. I mean all it is is stuff. Stuff can be bought at any time. Any time you have money, which right now I do not have, you can buy a bike, sound equipment or a book. I guess it is watching people pick through your stuff and buy it for practically nothing. Funny right now the song "Every little things gonna be alright" is playing. I got to believe that. Sorry my mind took  a little break. All the things I bought over the years I saw slipping through my fingers and I got sad. I worked hard to buy those things. I was proud of myself when I went from being homeless to a productive person in society. Getting rid of my stuff meant I was not longer productive and was sliding downhill fast.

It has been a rough few months. Losing my apartment that I loved was difficult. Yes I got rid of the wicked witch but no longer having a place I could call  my own reminded me of twenty years ago when I was living in my car.  Yes, I came a long way from there, but while the last few months have proven to be challenging there is a part of me that has faith that something better is out there. I really hope that is soon.
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I was very lucky when my cousin's offered  their house for me to recoup from my surgery . I was even more lucky when  they offered me to stay until they sold their home. We all figured it would be a few more months. I could finish my last class for my BA and get a solid job before I needed to move. Little did we know that 12 hours of the house being listed, they would get a good offer. More important, we only had 30 days to vacate. The next few days were making plans to get rid of everything in the house. Every day that passes, I come back to less and less furniture in the house. It is so bare right now the 2100 sq. foot home echo's with our voices. In a week, the bed I am sleeping will be gone, a week or so after that,  my cousins will be off exploring the world in their RV. Well not the world because RV's can't float but at least they can explore the USA and Canada! To retire at 58 is only a dream I can dream. When I get a job, I will be working until I am dead!!!

Right now all I can think of is where I will be next. Will I ever find a job or a place to call my own. A little over dramatic I know but as the world does revolve around me, it is a scary prospect to be back in my car. I have survived it once before, I know I can survive it again . I have never been very good with change. Many people like the experience of not knowing, and I am not one of them. I would like to feel safe and warm, well not warm because summer is coming but at least safe and protected. I know when God closes a door he opens a window. But please God.....Don't let the window be on the 34th floor and me hanging out it! Where will I be, I do not know, but I have my health (ish) and I have my car, I guess I could go anywhere now couldn't I?  As long as I have a bed, I will be happy. A bed and a job, I will be happy....A bed and a job and food, I will be happy....A bed, job, food and my friends, I will be happy.....Oh hell, A bed, job, food, friends, money, sex, an apartment, furniture and stuff, I will be happy. But I will start with a bed.  Hey brother, can you spare a bed?