It is Sunday morning at 9am, the day after a very grueling yard sale. All I want to do is sleep. Hell, all I EVER want to do is sleep, but today my body is screaming in muscle pain. Ok, well some of it is emotional pain too. The yard sale made me realize that it is time to get rid off all my belongings. My bike, which I never used, sound equipment, which I never used, my books, that I never used I mean read. The fact is, it really isn't a big deal to get rid of all your stuff. I mean all it is is stuff. Stuff can be bought at any time. Any time you have money, which right now I do not have, you can buy a bike, sound equipment or a book. I guess it is watching people pick through your stuff and buy it for practically nothing. Funny right now the song "Every little things gonna be alright" is playing. I got to believe that. Sorry my mind took a little break. All the things I bought over the years I saw slipping through my fingers and I got sad. I worked hard to buy those things. I was proud of myself when I went from being homeless to a productive person in society. Getting rid of my stuff meant I was not longer productive and was sliding downhill fast.
It has been a rough few months. Losing my apartment that I loved was difficult. Yes I got rid of the wicked witch but no longer having a place I could call my own reminded me of twenty years ago when I was living in my car. Yes, I came a long way from there, but while the last few months have proven to be challenging there is a part of me that has faith that something better is out there. I really hope that is soon.
.
I was very lucky when my cousin's offered their house for me to recoup from my surgery . I was even more lucky when they offered me to stay until they sold their home. We all figured it would be a few more months. I could finish my last class for my BA and get a solid job before I needed to move. Little did we know that 12 hours of the house being listed, they would get a good offer. More important, we only had 30 days to vacate. The next few days were making plans to get rid of everything in the house. Every day that passes, I come back to less and less furniture in the house. It is so bare right now the 2100 sq. foot home echo's with our voices. In a week, the bed I am sleeping will be gone, a week or so after that, my cousins will be off exploring the world in their RV. Well not the world because RV's can't float but at least they can explore the USA and Canada! To retire at 58 is only a dream I can dream. When I get a job, I will be working until I am dead!!!
Right now all I can think of is where I will be next. Will I ever find a job or a place to call my own. A little over dramatic I know but as the world does revolve around me, it is a scary prospect to be back in my car. I have survived it once before, I know I can survive it again . I have never been very good with change. Many people like the experience of not knowing, and I am not one of them. I would like to feel safe and warm, well not warm because summer is coming but at least safe and protected. I know when God closes a door he opens a window. But please God.....Don't let the window be on the 34th floor and me hanging out it! Where will I be, I do not know, but I have my health (ish) and I have my car, I guess I could go anywhere now couldn't I? As long as I have a bed, I will be happy. A bed and a job, I will be happy....A bed and a job and food, I will be happy....A bed, job, food and my friends, I will be happy.....Oh hell, A bed, job, food, friends, money, sex, an apartment, furniture and stuff, I will be happy. But I will start with a bed. Hey brother, can you spare a bed?
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Pahrump!!! ....equals HELL!
As my journey continues I have found life, especially mine, becomes more and more strange.
Now most of you know, or at least guess, I am on the strange side. The past few months have been filled with more ups and down than an E ticket ride at Disneyland! Yes I am that old, ask your mom what that meant!. I lost my apartment of eleven years, well I know where it is I just can no longer be there. I had cancer surgery and had my lower half female parts removed. Moved into my cousins house to recoup from said surgery to find they are selling their house and am taking my last unit to get my BA after a 35 year hiatus. See what I mean by the ups and downs.....
But this story is about this past weekend, more will come later if this even posts. My cousins needed to find an inexpensive storage company to store the furniture they are choosing to keep when they finally decide to get another house. You see they are retiring and getting into their big RV to travel the world, or at least North America. Since they are selling their home they needed a place to store their belongings that was dry. So, PAHRUMP was the chosen place. Five and a half hour drive to a place hell would not even accept! This place makes Bakersfield look good. ( sorry to my loving friends who still live in Bakersfield....love you guys!) Dirt, sand, tumbleweeds, dirt, snakes, heat and beige describes this city, but what they have is a storage bin the is inexpensive and clean. If the drive did not bore me enough, this city would be the death of me. I was so excited that my cousin said all the rooms were filled in town (why?) and that we would spend the night in Las Vegas (Yeah!). . Well after we unloaded a ton of furniture, I was ready to party in Vegas. We were exhausted and knew it would be another hour to get to Vegas but what the hell, I wasn't driving. Chris, one of my cousin's by marriage, was told to try one of the hotels in town. Shit, I thought, why do that...Vegas, Vegas.....VEGAS, oh god please VEGAS!!!!!!... Well apparently God, had bigger plans and we got the last room in Pahrump, Nevada. No casino, but at least it had a pool, since it was over 90 degrees and oh did I mention it was a smoking room. Walking into the room reminded my of my dads house. Stale cigarettes filled the air. Yes the room was clean and the beds were comfy, but the smell and the fact we did not go to VEGAS, was a disappointment. Trying to be a trouper, I went to the pool. In the late afternoon heat, the pool looked so refreshing. What I did not know was apparently the water came from an ice flow. Yes it was refreshing because it was 90 degrees below 0. I have never felt water that cold. I am a California native and have not lived back East so yes I am a woosy. At least it pulled the layers of dust off of me. Dinner is next at a place called Wuffy's. Oh hold me back folks, A place called Wuffy's for dinner.....oh boy I am excited! Could have been in Vegas but noooooooo, Wuffy's it is. To be fair, the restaurant was pretty good. They advertised that they served the best fired chicken and home made potato chips in the world. The world....that is a tall order ....maybe the best in Pahrump but not the world. I have to say though, it was a pretty good fried chicken and potato chip dinner. Maybe even the best I have had, but I am still not willing to give them the title of world's best. Maybe the best in Pahrump!
After a decent, but not great nights sleep, we head off to Frazier Park, for another bunch of fun. My cousins are square dancers and they had a dance there to go to, and I could not be dropped off at the house. Now Frazier Park is a beautiful spot, but with my luck they had a fire there and the place though safe enough to dance at was not safe enough for me to sit and enjoy the lake... There was no fire in the area but the lake was reserved for the firemen. Great another 3 hours listening to square dance music, could life get much better.... okay I know sarcasm does not translate to the page so let me be perfectly clear, that was sarcasm. No it does not get better because a friend of my cousins had me sit outside for awhile to watch her two big Labs. First thing one of them does was to use me as a fire hydrant! Yes my life is special. My saving grace was a visit with my dear friend Margo, who coincidentally lives in Bakesfield. We ended up at the Mexican Restaurant the name of said restaurant... Mexican Restaurant, not Wuffy's but then again, not Pahrump! A nice visit over chips and salsa and a wine margarita. I guess Frazier Park does not have hard liquor. Next stop on this weekend from hell was home, not my home but my safe place for now to find, that that the realtor that is showing the house feels with a counter offer that someone placed on the house will have it sold, and they (my cousins) will be hitting the road on June 20th!. Oh yeah, my birthday is June 19th... So where will I be in a month, who knows, What I do know that it will NOT be Pahrump, maybe Wuffy's but not Pahrump!!!!
Now most of you know, or at least guess, I am on the strange side. The past few months have been filled with more ups and down than an E ticket ride at Disneyland! Yes I am that old, ask your mom what that meant!. I lost my apartment of eleven years, well I know where it is I just can no longer be there. I had cancer surgery and had my lower half female parts removed. Moved into my cousins house to recoup from said surgery to find they are selling their house and am taking my last unit to get my BA after a 35 year hiatus. See what I mean by the ups and downs.....
But this story is about this past weekend, more will come later if this even posts. My cousins needed to find an inexpensive storage company to store the furniture they are choosing to keep when they finally decide to get another house. You see they are retiring and getting into their big RV to travel the world, or at least North America. Since they are selling their home they needed a place to store their belongings that was dry. So, PAHRUMP was the chosen place. Five and a half hour drive to a place hell would not even accept! This place makes Bakersfield look good. ( sorry to my loving friends who still live in Bakersfield....love you guys!) Dirt, sand, tumbleweeds, dirt, snakes, heat and beige describes this city, but what they have is a storage bin the is inexpensive and clean. If the drive did not bore me enough, this city would be the death of me. I was so excited that my cousin said all the rooms were filled in town (why?) and that we would spend the night in Las Vegas (Yeah!). . Well after we unloaded a ton of furniture, I was ready to party in Vegas. We were exhausted and knew it would be another hour to get to Vegas but what the hell, I wasn't driving. Chris, one of my cousin's by marriage, was told to try one of the hotels in town. Shit, I thought, why do that...Vegas, Vegas.....VEGAS, oh god please VEGAS!!!!!!... Well apparently God, had bigger plans and we got the last room in Pahrump, Nevada. No casino, but at least it had a pool, since it was over 90 degrees and oh did I mention it was a smoking room. Walking into the room reminded my of my dads house. Stale cigarettes filled the air. Yes the room was clean and the beds were comfy, but the smell and the fact we did not go to VEGAS, was a disappointment. Trying to be a trouper, I went to the pool. In the late afternoon heat, the pool looked so refreshing. What I did not know was apparently the water came from an ice flow. Yes it was refreshing because it was 90 degrees below 0. I have never felt water that cold. I am a California native and have not lived back East so yes I am a woosy. At least it pulled the layers of dust off of me. Dinner is next at a place called Wuffy's. Oh hold me back folks, A place called Wuffy's for dinner.....oh boy I am excited! Could have been in Vegas but noooooooo, Wuffy's it is. To be fair, the restaurant was pretty good. They advertised that they served the best fired chicken and home made potato chips in the world. The world....that is a tall order ....maybe the best in Pahrump but not the world. I have to say though, it was a pretty good fried chicken and potato chip dinner. Maybe even the best I have had, but I am still not willing to give them the title of world's best. Maybe the best in Pahrump!
After a decent, but not great nights sleep, we head off to Frazier Park, for another bunch of fun. My cousins are square dancers and they had a dance there to go to, and I could not be dropped off at the house. Now Frazier Park is a beautiful spot, but with my luck they had a fire there and the place though safe enough to dance at was not safe enough for me to sit and enjoy the lake... There was no fire in the area but the lake was reserved for the firemen. Great another 3 hours listening to square dance music, could life get much better.... okay I know sarcasm does not translate to the page so let me be perfectly clear, that was sarcasm. No it does not get better because a friend of my cousins had me sit outside for awhile to watch her two big Labs. First thing one of them does was to use me as a fire hydrant! Yes my life is special. My saving grace was a visit with my dear friend Margo, who coincidentally lives in Bakesfield. We ended up at the Mexican Restaurant the name of said restaurant... Mexican Restaurant, not Wuffy's but then again, not Pahrump! A nice visit over chips and salsa and a wine margarita. I guess Frazier Park does not have hard liquor. Next stop on this weekend from hell was home, not my home but my safe place for now to find, that that the realtor that is showing the house feels with a counter offer that someone placed on the house will have it sold, and they (my cousins) will be hitting the road on June 20th!. Oh yeah, my birthday is June 19th... So where will I be in a month, who knows, What I do know that it will NOT be Pahrump, maybe Wuffy's but not Pahrump!!!!
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